Today I ventured out to the suburbs to do my weekly practicum in an elementary school. In the morning, I was walking from the school to our portable when I heard some boy in the playground loudly declare, “Cory* is such a fag.” I walked over to the boy, who was probably in Grade 7, and asked him his name, which turned out to be Max.* I said, “Max, I thought I heard you call someone a fag. Was I correct?” He laughed and said he had. So I said, “I’m gay. I know you might not have meant to say something mean about gay people, but when I heard you say the word ‘fag’ it really hurt my feelings. Could you do me a favour and stop using that word?” He nodded and said he wouldn’t say it again. We both went our separate ways.
As I walked away, I wondered if I did something wrong by telling him I’m gay. I was instructed by my faculty advisor ‘not to advertise my sexuality.’ He also told me that just as Christians have to hide their beliefs when they come into a public school, I shouldn’t disclose ‘what I do on evenings and weekends’ when I’m in the public school setting. Oh, and he said that “sexual orientation is not pertinent to the educative process.” He said all of this in front of the principal of my elementary school (who agreed with him), and as a result, I’m worried that I might get in trouble for coming out to a seventh grader.
So why did I feel the need to tell the kid who dropped the f-bomb that I’m gay? I really thought that if I approached him as some adult telling him not to use a bad word, he wouldn’t really get it. And he would probably keep using it. I thought that if I appealed to him as a human being who was personally hurt by his remarks, he would really think about his choice of language and each time he says the word “fag” out loud, he’ll think of me. And maybe he’ll feel bad, because I was really decent to him, even though his actions toward me were hurtful. Actually, I believe that telling that kid that I am gay was an appropriate action in that context. Perhaps I’ll even tell my faculty advisor so. Please tell me your thoughts on this!
On a lighter note, today was my first day with my official associate teacher, in what is now partly ‘my’ Grade 4/5 class. My associate teacher said she really wanted to work with me because she really liked how I handled the children’s questions about whether I’m male or female earlier in the school year (I always said, “I don’t know. What do you think?”). That was so encouraging to hear. She also has a rainbow at the front of her room, and regardless of what it signifies to her, it makes me feel welcome.
When the children came into the classroom this morning, there was something about a “Mr. Fish” written on the blackboard. So the kids assumed I must be Mr. Fish. I said they could call me that if they like. It turned out that Mr. Fish was a scientist/magician we were going to see in the gym that morning. So nobody calls me that anymore.
Later that day, as we walked from the gym to the portable, a girl was showing me how to do something with her hands. I had no idea what we were making by folding our fingers in this particular way, but I did it anyway, to play along. It ended with her saying, “And then you open your hands like this, and you can see where the pee pee comes out!” Yup, unbeknowst to me, I had just spent the last two minutes making a hand vagina with this kid. That was a bit awkward.
And that was my day!
*Names have been changed for privacy.
Filed under: Practicum, Queer Activism | Tagged: fag, hand vagina, Mr. Fish, Queer Activism, student teacher
I think this is my new favourite blog.
hey again.
It’s me. D from the last comment. You are totally pedagogically o.k to identify when you here people using homophobic language.
It makes it real for the kids. Queer people are real. And here is one… MY TEACHER. He will not likely forget that . Making schools safe spaces is priority number one. And whenever you challenge homophobia (especially effectively as you did) you make the school safer for all kids- not just the LGBTQ one but those who are also PERCEIVED as being queer (they are the majority of those who are gender bullied).
Hope you contact M. to get my contact info. Or contact my Masters advisor (C.R.). She’s got it.
Hi there,
You did NOTHING wrong. Calling a student on their use of homophobic language is completely appropriate. If you had done nothing it would have allowed the homophobia on the school ground to continue.
Students need positive role model who self identify as queer too. Not all their teachers are straight and they deserve to know this. Your faculty advisor is pretty insensitive to make those comments. Would he/she be telling you to hide your beliefs about EQUALITY if you had “come out” as a person with a disability if you heard a student use a slur against someone based upon their physical or mental abilities?
All this being said, you are in a situation where there is a power imbalance (as a student teacher) within your practicum. I’ve been a faculty associate before. I KNOW that some FAs are not very knowledgeable on queer issues. Some are excellent, but far too many are uncomfortable and don’t dicuss these issues with their modules of student teachers at all.
If you are wanting support contact Gay and Lesbian Educators of BC (GALE-BC) http://www.galebc.org and someone can provide you with advice on how to proceed. It can be done confidentially. They can give you some tips on how to stay true to your identity and successfully make it through your practicum in one piece.
cheers,
James
It definitely is okay for teachers to be out at school, and it definitely is pertinent to the educative process. I’m a bit horrified that your faculty advisor and principal had difficulties understanding this.
Every teachers’ collective agreement in this province contains antidiscrimination language that speaks to this issue. Patti Bacchus, the school board chair in Vancouver, wrote a great Letter to the Editor in the BCTF Teacher Newsmagzine a couple months ago. In it she said,
“I want to thank David Butler (“Coming out in elementary school,” Teacher, May/June 2009) for sharing his story not only with Teacher readers, but most importantly, with his students and school community.
That it was a difficult and anxiety-provoking step for Butler tells me we still have much work to do to make all students, staff, and families feel welcomed, safe, and appreciated in our schools for who they are.
By taking the courageous steps he did to tell his students and colleagues about who he is, Butler has contributed significantly to that work.
I am pleased to read that he found support among his school administrators and colleagues—as he absolutely should.
It is my hope that no one feels they need to check their identity at the door when they attend or work in a Vancouver school. We should all be able to feel proud of who we are and we must send the same clear message to our students, so they too can take pride in themselves and their families.
Butler has given his students a valuable gift and I believe he will continue to do so through his teaching career and it is my sincere hope that he is wrong in predicting that some students “will still grow up to be homophobic.” It’s our responsibility to make sure that isn’t the case. Thank you David Butler.
Patti Bacchus, Vancouver Board of Education”
You’ll find her letter on-line here: http://www.bctf.ca/publications/NewsmagArticle.aspx?id=19530
the Vancouver School Board has a stand-alone LGBTTQ policy, which can be found here: http://www.vsb.bc.ca/district-policy/acb-lesbian-gay-bisexual-transgender-transsexual-two-spirit-questioning
The BC Human Rights Code also protects you, along with a whole bunch of court decisions on this topic.
So, between the Collective Agreement and various other things, you’re on solid ground.
If you want some more information, feel free to email me at glen@vesta.ca
Glen Hansman
Vancouver Elementary School Teachers’ Association